Day Dreamer

why my blog is so sad.

I really don't know. I guess I just write about all the shitty stuff going on in my life and totally ignore the good stuff.

Like today for example. Sure, there was some shitty things. But instead of making this post about the shitty things.. I'm only going to mention the good things.

I've been at this Photography workshop since monday. Tomorrow is the last day.
I'm surprised at how much I've been enjoying it. Today I took like 100 pictures of some flowers and shit. It was really fun and I have some amazing photos to show from it. Some photos that I'm actually proud of.

I had some apple juice.
The kind in those little boxes.
Those can always make me smile, even when I'm feeling down.
Apple Juice is my best friend ever.


And the thing that has really made today good.
A cute boy smiled at me on the subway. The best part about it is I wasn't even looking for him.
I'll admit it.
Most days on the subway I'm always trying to get a guy to look at me. To make me feel better about myself. And I never find it.
But today I walked into the train and just stood there. I got a feeling someone was looking at me.
I look up and there is this cute guy looking at me.
At first he looked surprised that I looked back at him. Then he gave me a shy smile. And I smiled back.

I've made 2 decisions today

1)
I'm going to stop focusing on all the crappy stuff and focus on the good stuff. I don't remember how it was brought up with my mom, but I came to the conclusion that if you're always trying to make the bad things better, you'll completely forget about the good things. But if you focus more on the good things, and try to make them even better, it will over power the bad things.
(I felt super smart for coming up on this by myself)

2)
I'm going to stop looking for things and just let them come to me instead. For years I've been looking for friends and looking for boys and looking for happiness. But I never really got it, cause I was looking so hard. People (such as my mom) have told me that I need to stop looking for it. I never believed them. But now I do. I guess you have to experience something to believe it.


anyways
I hope that wasn't sad.
I tried :)